Blogjangles :: Music & Biscuits

The original Blogjangles ran from 11/2005 to 02/2008 when it mysteriously disappeared. All posts erased forever, but thanks to webarchive.org I am able to salvage some junk from the site.

[I was "published" in the Express - the free Washington Post paper - for this post. And I didn't guess the right person, obvs.]

FROM Oct. 31, 2006

This is a sad day. Bob Barker, as I am sure you’ve already heard, has announced his plan to retire. I knew this day would come eventually and I knew it would be unrealistic to have Bob Barker as the host when I was retired sitting on the couch wanting some centrum silver. I had a good 20 something years enjoying Bob that will never be forgotten. (There is a Bob Barker wall clock ticking behind me.) I also find it funny that SIX years ago today, a group of us put together some amazing Price is Right Halloween costumes.

Yes. That is a fully functional Plinko Board. Somewhere around here I have a photo of Julius Peppers playing Plinko. (p.s. win a f’n game)

So, what is next? I know a lot of Price is Right purists would claim that the show should end and just show repeats - I mean there is 35 years of content to use… Granted, some might not get excited about seeing someone win a Pinto versus some new flashy car, but I don’t think a 30-year-old episode would be that bad. I’d watch.

Let’s just say that the show must go on and there will have to be a new host - Who should it be? I’ve called some resident TPiR gurus and asked their opinion and this is a preliminary list that I’ve decided to publish a little prematurely. It’s not final and probably needs more analysis… the list in order of best to worst.

1. Rich Fields - Pros: He is the announcer who took over for Rod Roddy and according to sources he’s a solid replacement. Since Rod can’t take over, Rich is a solid choice. Cons: Other than TPiR purists, little know much about the “new” announcer.
2. Wilford Brimley - Pros: I mean this would be great. He’s on every diabetes commercial during the Price is Right. He has his shtick to talk about at the end of the show. “Check Your Blood Sugar Check It Often!” Cons: He would be short with people and would not enjoy annoying banter with ridiculous contestants. People might not hug him thinking diabetes is contagious. He is old.
3. Marshall Faulk - Pros: Seriously stop kidding with this NFL TV gig and come on over to CBS and TPiR. People know who Marshall is and I would love to take Madden 2003 to get signed by not only a superstar, but the host of TPiR. Cons: Umm, what the hell?
4. Craig Kilborn - Pros: Well known and I don’t think he is currently doing anything…? He’s funny, witty and would make for a good people person host. Cons: Might forget that the host isn’t the only reason people watch the show. Would old people like/recognize him?
5. Christopher Walken - Pros: Oh hell yes! Cons: TPiR is a full time job, say goodbye to movies for the most part.
6. Chevy Chase - Pros: I see he plays some crazy old racist man on TV for Law and Order this week. That’s a start I guess. He’s a womanizer, all generations can recognize him, he will always get the benefit of the doubt, he’s not going to be doing anything else important. He can say “na na na na na” during each game to help the contestant. Cons: With the flop of his talk show, execs are going to do little to put this man on TV again. And they have their reasons.
7. Bob Saget - Pros: Hear me out… This could work. Like Chase, everyone knows him: old and new. The Olsens can be the beauties and Kimmy Gibler can be the announcer. Cons: I could live with this choice if his “voice over” voice is not allowed. (seriously, why did you use that for Farce of the Penguins?)
8. Kenny Mayne - Pros: I don’t really know to be honest, but I think this would really work. He’s funny and would do well with the contestants. Non-sports people might know him from Dancing with the Stars..? Cons: Nothing other than this is kind of random…
9. Roger Moore - Pros: God, I love this man. I mean if he was 30 years younger, this would be f’n awesome. Cons: Is he still alive? UPDATE: He has an awesome website: roger-moore.com
10. Michael Showalter - I know you have other gigs with Michael Ian Black and crew, but seriously get this job and run with it. Live with it. You can do it and leave everything else behind. Cons: No more Stella.
11. Honorable Mentions: Norm McDonald, Kadeem Hardison, Max Wright, Dana Carvey, Ralph Macchio, William Zabka, Stuart Scott, and George Tsai (don’t know him? Well, you will one day, trust me.)

The people who should not be allowed to interview for the job would be: Regis Philbin, Howie Mandel, anyone younger than 30, a woman, Tony Danza, Hal Sparks, Flava Flav, anyone from In Living Color, Carson Daly, Dick Vitale, and anyone from Everybody Loves Raymond.

As long as whoever is hired understands that this is a full time job and you can’t be doing a lot of other crap. Obviously things like Happy Gilmore are okay, but nothing more.

Best of luck Bob. We all will miss you.